Kate Olson, CPC, CHt, is a Life Coach, Integrative Master Hypnotherapist, EFT & NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer and Reiki Master located in Seattle, Northern Lights Life Coaching www.northernlightscoaching.net & Embrace Change Hypnosis & NLP www.embracechangehypnosis.com. Kate offers workshops & classes, as well as, individual and group coaching. Her emphasis is on assisting clients in finding Path, Purpose and Peace. Kate focuses on integration of mind, body, spirit wellness. It is her mission to help clients find joy through connection, creative expression and embracing change. She is passionate about creativity, travel, personal growth and enjoying life. She has another wellness-related business offering Salt Therapy, Salt Works Saltariums. Salt Therapy offers an all natural treatment solution for respiratory and skin problems. All three businesses operate as Dba's under Total Well Resources, LLC. Kate is a speaker, writer and event facilitator. She is also a radio show host on Contact Talk Radio, www.ctrnetwork.com/embracechange hosting "Embrace Change with Kate ".
What is Resilience? Resilience is the process or quality of adapting well to adversity, tragedy, trauma, loss and threats or other significant stressful circumstances. It is that ability to “bounce back” from difficult or challenging experiences.
“That even in the face of the most shocking tragedy of my life, I could exert some control over its impact.” ― Sheryl Sandberg
If there is one thing that is more important to inner peace and living a joyful life than anything else, it is resilience. Life is full of adversity and even if we look at it as a challenge and an opportunity, which it is, it will always be there. It is the ability to meet those challenges, to push past fear and move forward to bounce back from adversity that makes the difference in our lives.
If we have resilience we can overcome anything and come back with our belief in ourselves and our ability to feel joy and gratitude intact. How do we acquire or cultivate resilience though? Where does it come from? Why are some people more resilient than others? Is it something we can develop or learn?
To get to the core of resilience let’s look at how resilient people get back up when life knocks them down. These are the people that we look at with awe and can’t imagine going through what they have and coming out not only standing strong, but thriving joyfully. What are the core mental and emotional attributes that they possess that allows them to be resilient? They are self-aware, authentic, confident, capable, self-reliant, optimistic, compassionate, resourceful and tenacious.
“Resilience isn’t a single skill. It’s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To Bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive.” - Jean Chatzky
While there are different factors that incline one person to be more resilient than another, it can definitely be learned or developed. Below are some of the ways to develop a stronger sense of resilience.
1. Keep a positive view of yourself and your abilities
2. Cultivate an attitude of possibility and opportunity
3. Maintain connections in your life.
4. Look for solutions, rather than problems
5. Accept and embrace change as a natural part of life.
6. Set and achieve goals
7. Take decisive and powerful actions
8. Maintain a hopeful outlook
9. Keep things in perspective and be objective
10. Take care of yourself. Treat yourself with kindness & compassion.
11. Know your value and appreciate yourself.
12. Respect your capability
13. Be relentless! Keep going!
What is “Joyful Resilience”? It is a mindset and a blueprint for living and overcoming the adversity that is inherent in our lives. We all have the capacity to be resilient and survive a great deal of adversity and emotional disappointment. We have the ability to let go of what has happened in the past and start again. We have the ability to move forward and to be present in the current moment. We have the ability to see not only the negative aspects of what has happened, but also the positive aspects that might be a part of something disappointing. With all of this, we have the capacity to feel joy, even in the midst of the most devastating circumstances. We have the ability to smile when our heart is breaking, to laugh when we are filled with sadness and to reach out and hug someone when we feel like we can barely pull ourselves together. This comes from a will deep inside us that gravitates toward our natural desire to be joyful and happy. If we allow it, our body will move us through the worst of times back to this natural state of “joyfulness” that is at our core. It is the very acts of joyful expression –smiling, laughing, being aware of beauty and kindness that bring forth the chemicals to give us inner strength. If we are not set on staying in a negative and debilitating state of mind, we will naturally move toward those things that heal us, strengthen us and pull us out of the fog of adversity and back into the light of joyfulness. We will smile, we will laugh, we will respond to kindness, see beauty and appreciate the good that is always there and suddenly it will be bigger and more powerful than the adversity that is holding us down. This is our natural healing and our natural blueprint for getting through life and we all have this to carry us through if we will let it. We just need to allow and believe in this process. We just need to do the things that do not block us from our natural course of healing and recovery and we will find our resilience.
How do we cultivate or develop this mindset of “Joyful Resilience”? It is a training or exercising process where we train our brain and our emotions to respond in certain ways. It is similar to the way we learn or practice anything else. When we want our bodies to respond in a certain way, we train ourselves with consistent and repeated practice and if we are diligent we usually get the results we want. It does not just happen with our emotional responses. It also takes a process of conditioning and practice to built the desired response patterns. Like training and conditioning our bodies to be able to respond in certain ways, we have the ability to do this with our mind and our emotions and that is what makes us strong, resilient and able to bounce back from adversity and return to a natural state of joyfulness.
There is actually science behind this. When we practice behaviors mentally, physically and emotionally we rewire our brains and form new neuro-pathways. If we can smile, laugh and recognize beauty and kindness, we will actually experience chemical responses in our bodies that lead us toward healing and recovery. As we release serotonin and dopamine we change ourselves on the chemical and cellular level and move ourselves toward a positive and strong state of joy and this is all the natural course of our being. We need to expect and allow this to happen, rather than blocking these natural recovery resources. Not only do we need to allow the process, but like a highly trained athlete, we need to train and practice those responses to be our strongest and most joyfully resilient selves.
“Joy, collected over time, fuels resilience." -- Brené Brown
Info & Authors
This guest blog will feature contributions from experts & other advocates on topics that speak to integration mind, body & spirit wellness.