About the Author:  Revital Shiri-Horowitz, is an author, poet and blogger. She was born and raised in Israel. Shiri-Horowitz earned a B.A. and M.A. in Geography and Hebrew Literature from Tel Aviv and Haifa Universities. Shiri-Horowitz publishes her books both in English and in Hebrew. “Daughters of Iraq” (2011) earned an award from “The Jewish Iraqi Heritage Center” in Israel. The book tells the female story of Jewish life in Iraq and immigration to Israel in the early fifties, after Israel was established in 1948. “Hope to See You Soon” (2014), is a women immigrant story, always divided between two homelands. Her new book, It`s Just Your Imagination speaks about her personal journey of growing up with a narcissistic mother. The book won a “Pinnacle Book Achievement Award” in the Self-Help category. Shiri-Horowitz lives in the Seattle area and still dreams in Hebrew.
 Some useful links:
Website: www.revital-sh.com    Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Its-Just-Your-Imagination-Narcissistic-ebook/dp/B077VYJ2DT/ref=zg_bs_8917500011_41?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=YWP89S4ZT8T9YSSQ4XDG
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RevitalHorowitz
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Revital-Shiri-Horowitz-108002329286503/ 

 Growing up with a narcissistic mother – Insights of my personal journey

       Only at the age of forty-eight I came to learn “what was wrong with me all those years”. My mom came for a couple of weeks from Israel to visit my kids, my husband and me, and acted out like she always did. But this time something happened to me; I could no longer look at her the same way as before. I saw her actions that included lying, manipulating, and trying to get her way no matter what the cost to people around her. I saw her real self, which provoked lots of childhood flashbacks and wounds.  I found myself crying for hours, as my heart broke. I just could not understand how a mother who is supposed to treat her daughter with love behaves this way; I was a total mess!
     My husband found a therapist and dragged me to see her. It only took a few minutes, for her to say: “Look, it is not really you, it is your mother… She is a narcissist, and you were raised by a narcissistic mother”. I did not quite understand what she meant, so she gave me a few articles and a couple of books to read and sent me home. It has been a long five years since then - of understanding and healing myself - and during that process I wrote a book called It`s Just Your Imagination, something my mom used to tell me whenever I confronted her about a lie she just told, about things I saw she did, and she did not like what I had to say about them: “I did not say that. It`s just your imagination”, she would say to me. When you are being told again and again that everything is “Just your imagination” it makes you doubt yourself all the time. Maybe I did not really see what I saw, or hear what I heard, after all.
      This life changing journey I went through was not easy. Understanding you were raised by a narcissistic mother means that you were never loved by your own mother. While learning and understanding is super important in such a journey, it is only the first step in your journey. Healing the heart and moving on takes time and energy. There was a huge gap between the mind and the heart that needed to heal. “It`s Just Your Imagination” speaks about my process of learning, and understanding What it is, how it feels, mourning the childhood I never had, and becoming a much stronger person. I promised myself I will always do my best to help others, as this is my mission.
​

​About the Author:  Kate Olson, CPC, CHt, is a Life Coach, Integrative Master Hypnotherapist, EFT & NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer and Reiki Master located in Seattle, Northern Lights Life Coaching www.northernlightscoaching.net & Embrace Change Hypnosis & NLP www.embracechangehypnosis.com.  Kate offers workshops & classes, as well as, individual and group coaching. Her emphasis is on assisting clients in finding Path, Purpose and Peace. Kate focuses on integration of mind, body, spirit wellness. It is her mission to help clients find joy through connection, creative expression and embracing change.  She is passionate about creativity, travel, personal growth and enjoying life. She has another wellness-related business offering Salt Therapy, Salt Works Saltariums.  Salt Therapy offers an all natural treatment solution for respiratory and skin problems.​ All three businesses operate as Dba's under Total Well Resources, LLC.  Kate is a speaker, writer and event facilitator.  She is also a radio show host on Contact Talk Radio, www.ctrnetwork.com/embracechange hosting "Embrace Change with Kate ".   

      There is a quote by George Bernard Shaw, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing!” I believe this is true and that play is important not only to keep us young and vibrant, but in all aspects of our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. When we are children play is our job and our major way of learning, as well as, an emotional, physical and mental resource and outlet. This does not really change, just because we get older. When we stop playing, we are losing an important resource, outlet and form of expression. This does not have to happen and probably shouldn’t happen. In play, we use our imagination and creativity, as well as, testing our abilities on every level. Play has so many beneficial effects on our mind and body and is one of the main channels for growth.
       There are many forms of play using the whole spectrum of our skills and abilities and energizing every aspect of our mental and emotional expression. Science has proven the effects play has on us mentally, physically and emotionally. It is the same as comparable experiences that are “real” or not done in the form of play. It has also been shown that imagining an experience affects the body and mind similarly to the real experience. Have you ever imagined what something would taste like, feel like or look like? It can seem very real! I have had a dream where I was falling and woken up to find myself actually falling off of the bed or imagined a scary situation where I got chills. I have imagined how something tasted and actually found myself salivating. Most of us have had these very real feelings come about as part of play. Children naturally use play in a beneficial way to enhance their life experience and learn from those experiences. With these benefits, why do we stop playing, for the most part, as we become adults?
 

      Child’s play is definitely not just for “children only” and we all should make an effort to play more. Maybe our form of play may change or up-level to some degree, but we need to keep our minds and bodies engaged with creativity and imagination. It has been shown to keep the neural pathways in our brain growing and to slow deterioration and ward off disease.  When it comes to brain development, time in the classroom may be less important than time on the playground.
     "The experience of play changes the connections of the neurons at the front end of your brain," says Sergio Pellis, a researcher at the University of Lethbridge in Alberta, Canada. "And without play experience, those neuron aren't changed," he says. (National Public Radio, US. -  https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2014/08/06/336361277/scientists-say-childs-play-helps-build-a-better-brain)
      Therefore, as we become adults and grow older how can we expect the brain to change modes and learn without this important imaginative and experiential tool. Play is very important to keeping our brain flexible and growing, which is called neuroplasticity. If you are interested in finding out more about the neuroscience of play, follow the link below and watch a video from the Aspen Ideas Festival with Stuart Brown talking about Neuroscience and Play!

https://www.aspenideas.org/session/neuroscience-play-what-play-does-you-and-your-brain-and-what-happens-you-if-you-dont-play

       Play has many different elements and other components which involve sensory experience can be part of it, like music, dance, games, humor and physical exercise or competition. It can be mostly a mental exercise, very physical, emotional or a combination of these. Play is an altered state and an exploration of “what ifs”, “could bes” and all that is possible. Play is random and spontaneous and an adventure in going beyond what is certain! Play gives context to chaos and helps us to understand our evolving world. It starts as nonsense and silliness that leads to discovery.
       If you want to defy aging or maintain a semblance of youth, play is probably the primary way that this can be done. It is probably the only reasonable way of staying both healthy and younger. So, keep playing in your life to live longer and enjoy life more while you are here. It will keep the brain synapses firing and that is key to awareness, alertness, learning and growth.
    “When children pretend, they are using their imagination to move beyond the boundaries of reality. "A stick can be a magic wand, a sock can be a puppet, a small child can be a superhero.” – Fred Rogers
     If we can keep that child alive in us and allow curiosity and play to flourish we, as Adults, have that same boundless possibility! 

​About the Author: Anne Hunter Logue was born in New Jersey, lived in Colorado and currently resides in Pennsylvania. Anne has studied the healing arts extensively. She is a Reiki Master, trained in Quantum Touch, certified Hypnotherapist, certified in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Healing Touch, a form of energy healing that was founded by a Colorado native, Janet Mentegen.  Anne’s ties to Colorado through Healing Touch keep her connected to the community, experimenting and developing new ways of creating change and new approaches to some of life’s curve balls.  Her practice is in her home in Pennsylvania and she has done workshops and healing fairs there.
        Anne’s father died when she was a freshman in college. One of the ways she dealt with this was through poetry, writing and art. She wrote a story about the sun, which was her way of figuring out who she was and what she was meant to do. The Story of the Sun was illustrated by Anne and is her view of life as a 20-year-old. That view still holds meaning for her and has become a way of connecting with children and helping them learn who they are and what they were meant to do.  It integrates her interest and love of the healing arts with her artistic side, bringing a refreshing look at life to the readers. The Story of the Sun was published in 2017 and is Anne’s first book.
       In addition to her advanced certification in Healing Touch, Anne has done extensive reading and reflection, including research on quantum physics and the holographic universe. She has done workshops and research in the Akashic Records, which are the virtual records that contain all of the information about us in our various incarnations and is a resource for incredible insight and healing. Bringing all of this information into resonance and integrating it with her personal experience has created a new way of experiencing reality. Her focus now is bringing that awareness and understanding to children. She has just finished a publicity campaign to reach audiences that may benefit. Her book has been translated into French and will soon be translated into Spanish. She has written another children’s book, which will be published in the near future.    

​Thinking about our lives, there are so many patterns that seem to repeat and repeat.  It is often difficult to distinguish who is the master and who is the student in certain situations. This is the subject I would like to talk about here. Many of you know that my family has been instrumental in teaching me these lessons, most especially my brother, Ken. Ken was diagnosed with leukemia in 2003 and we became very close during that period of time. I believe that he was and still is my teacher in this regard as I have learned such profound lessons from his illness, in teaching me faith, understanding and compassion and to some extent how the Universe works within us to create results.
     I learned during this very intense time that there are some questions that are important to understand when going through a time that seems to be challenging.  Learning these questions can help us to move through seemingly impossible situations with grace and even joy as we uncover more and more about ourselves and our role in the lives of those we come in contact with.  So, one of the most important aspect of our lives is relationship. We have relationships with EVERYTHING, not just the people in our lives. I came upon this fact and it has changed my understanding of many aspects of my life. For instance, we have a relationship with our home, what it means to us, how it can protect us and comfort us, how it can create security, etc.  Did you even think that you also have a relationship with money?  Who would think that how you view money would have an impact on your life and what you do and how you move through your life?  Is money an evil that is necessary for life?  Is money something that empowers you?  Where do you get money from?  From being “worthy”, from friends, from employers, from family members?  Where does it come from?  How is it used? To promote equality, help others, create comfort for you and your family, to demonstrate dominance, or mastery (maybe status?)  Consider these questions when you open your wallet next time to pay for something or pay a bill or want to plan for a vacation or trip.  Money, as with everything in our lives, is energy in action and how we appreciate it, use it for good and are grateful for the people who bring it into our lives, creates abundance and value for ourselves and others.
      So here is another consideration, what about our relationship with time?  When we consider how we spend time (interesting that is the same phrase used for money, spending) then we are conscious of our priorities and who and what we value.  Do we spend time taking care of our bodies, by eating healthy, exercising, doing fun activities, biking, canoeing, hiking, etc.?  Do we spend our time learning more about the Universe and our part in it through history, geography, politics, spirituality, etc.? Do we like to spend time watching TV, relaxing letting others do our thinking for us and be entertained? I think we can take a look at a lot of aspects of our lives and evaluate what we prioritize without even thinking about our intentions.  It is a valuable measuring device for us to find out what we value and how much we are invested in creating more value for ourselves and those in our lives.

​There is another important word that I have come to recognize as important and that is expectation.  We all have expectations.  We expect our family to love us and care for us. We expect to have enough food to eat and a safe and secure place to live, we expect to have friends and people to enjoy our lives with, etc., etc. These are familiar and worthy expectations.  When we create expectations of others and hold fast to these expectations and are constantly disappointed in the way others behave because they are not meeting our expectations, then that is a different matter. Truthfully, are we not all guilty of this exercise?  Expectations can drive many relationships, all of the relationships we have mentioned above.  Our love relationships are driven by expectations very often.  If we have a significant other, we expect certain things from them and can be very disappointed if (even without our communicating our needs or desires) the other person does not meet our expectations.  Our expectations about money is also a big example, as are our expectations of ourselves with regard to time.  We “should” be at a certain point in our lives by a certain age, have a certain degree of “success”, be spiritually enlightened, be popular, whatever, at a certain time in our lives.  So how we frame and use our expectations to enrich our lives or create disappointment and/or happiness because we have met our expectations regarding these issues.
     The importance of how we “frame” our experiences is something that I learned from my study of Neuro Linguistic Programming.  I have come to understand that it is not so much the situation, because we all encounter situations that are troubling to us, it is really our reaction to the situation that is crucial in determining our “relationship” to it and the outcome it will have either positive or negative in our lives.  I will give you an example of how our response to certain situations can affect us.  In using the recent election as an example, and depending on how you perceive  the outcome of the election, when you think of President Trump, does that create a sense of pride for you in America that he represents the values that you hold dear and want to fight for, or does his role as President create a dissonance for you, an injustice in the fact that you perceive his role does not identify the values you hold dear and he does not embody the kind of policies that you would like to see implemented? Chances are quite strong that whichever way you identify your concerns with the outcome of this election, that has to some extent, dictated your actions with regard to your role as an American citizen.  So, it is not really the situation in and of itself, it is your RELATIONSHIP to the situation and how that creates a response for you either of acceptance and harmony, security, comfort, etc., or dissatisfaction, resistance, change, inequity, etc. Your perception of this situation will be the driving force of how it affects you and the people around you.  When we think about change, do you realize that a “perfect” situation will not create change?  If everything is in harmony and balance, change will not occur, so change can only occur when there is an imbalance and we strive to bring things back into balance.  Interesting, huh?
     So, we see that our response to a situation is really more important than the situation itself.  We often cannot change a particular situation, but we can change and be aware of our response to it.  This brings me to another important factor and that is perception.  Have you ever been reading a post on Facebook and thought, wow, this person is so __________?  I think they are great, love them, like what they say, or conversely, I can’t stand the way they said that, showed me that, are that. It makes me feel like they are so selfish, conceited, etc.  So, our perception of people and situations is very important.  Perception also comes into play with our perception of the world/Universe and our role in it.  Do we have a good RELATIONSHIP in the world, do we believe people are essentially good and trying to do good, or do we think people are mostly bad and only some people are good, etc., etc.  Look how all these crucial words come back around and show us things about ourselves and how we act/interact in the world.  Perception infers a kind of inner insight to me, something intangible that we “perceive” gives us an edge over other people perhaps.  How do we perceive ourselves in relationship to the world we live in, our community, society, family, etc.?
     So, the final word that I have recognized as being very important to me is interpretation.  We can see that interpretation of events, situations, actions, can also play a big part in what that particular event will mean to us.  Do we see an event as unimportant, inconsequential, insignificant, or crucial, valuable, essential?  Whichever way we interpret situations can determine how we respond to the event and what value we derive from it ultimately.  Are we open to the information available, or resistant, what does it mean for us?
     I have explored a bunch of seemingly insignificant words to find that each one can create further value and meaning in our lives or can create confusion and disillusionment. I enjoy exploring these issues in my practice using my knowledge of the Akashic Records, hypnosis, Neuro Linguistic Programming, and Healing Touch and Reiki.  I have just finished my first book, a children’s book called “The Story of the Sun” and it makes you think about some of these issues and how we perceive them and what is our part to play in the unfolding events that await us every day.

About the Author:  Kate Olson, CPC, CHt, is a Life Coach, Integrative Master Hypnotherapist, EFT & NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer and Reiki Master located in Seattle, Northern Lights Life Coaching www.northernlightscoaching.net & Embrace Change Hypnosis & NLP www.embracechangehypnosis.com.  Kate offers workshops & classes, as well as, individual and group coaching. Her emphasis is on assisting clients in finding Path, Purpose and Peace. Kate focuses on integration of mind, body, spirit wellness. It is her mission to help clients find joy through connection, creative expression and embracing change.  She is passionate about creativity, travel, personal growth and enjoying life. She has another wellness-related business offering Salt Therapy, Salt Works Saltariums.  Salt Therapy offers an all natural treatment solution for respiratory and skin problems.​ All three businesses operate as Dba's under Total Well Resources, LLC.  Kate is a speaker, writer and event facilitator.  She is also a radio show host on Contact Talk Radio, www.ctrnetwork.com/embracechange hosting "Embrace Change with Kate ".   

      ​It should be the easiest thing in the world just to be yourself, right? Why is it then, that there are so few people that manage to be who they really are and express themselves in a genuine way in life? I think that children start out instinctively knowing who they are and learning quite naturally to express themselves in a genuine way.  When do we start diverging from our real self and becoming someone else?
    I don’t think it is something that happens quickly or consciously, but more a slow process we hardly notice as we conform to other people’s expectations and sometimes even our own expectations, betraying in small ways our core selves, until one day we look in the mirror and hardly recognize the person we see. Or maybe, it is not something we see, but somehow just feel that we have become someone we don’t know. We feel out of sorts, misaligned or incongruent, like we are trying to fit in somewhere we don’t become.
     As a life coach and hypnotherapist, I see clients all the time who are seeking clarity and say they feel lost and confused. They feel stuck or just don’t know who they are any more and find it difficult to make any decisions at all. Nothing feels right.  What I usually find is that they are out of alignment or congruence with themselves and their core values.  All of the parts and pieces that make up “you” and work together in sync are out of wack.  You feel confused and something says you should not be who you are. Every action chips away at that person you were born to be and you lose trust in yourself. You begin to doubt your own basic instincts and the sense of internal guidance that comes natural to you. Yes, we must learn discipline and what is accepted and expected behavior in certain situations. How can we do this and stay that unique person that is authentically "us"? How does this happen? How do we lose ourselves?
      It happens incidentally and accidently, as we react to everything and everyone in our environment. The little girl that is told she should not talk so loudly or the little boy that is told “boys don’t cry “, begins to doubt their own feelings and tries to behave as others think they should. Can’t, shouldn’t, must, don’t and every little doubt chips away at our core self! How do we navigate this without becoming someone we are not, without loosing our spirit and uniqueness? 

     ​While this does not happen to everyone, it does happen to many people at some point in their lives to one degree or another. When our body is out of alignment, we can go to a chiropractor or physical therapist or sometimes do a series of stretches and exercises that will put everything back into place and set us back to functioning and feeling as we were meant to. How do we go about that when it is our internal self, the very core of our being, our internal guidance system, that is out of alignment? It is a process of awareness and focus, a deep looking inward to find the truths that resonate with us and fit us on the deepest and most basic level. It is knowing yourself and acting in accordance with our core values and beliefs. It is a true self-awareness that feels comfortable and we can fall into with ease and simple grace.
      How do we go about finding ourselves or getting back to our true self? It does take some stretching of a mental and emotional sort and self-examination to get back to that true and authentic self and feel comfortably in-sync.  Where to start is sometimes the hardest question.  a little alone time is usually a good starting point. Taking some time to be with yourself and acknowledge how you really feel about things and what pleases or gives you bliss on the most basic level without outside influence will help.  Getting in touch with your inner-child and remembering who you were and what you liked as a kid can give you precious insight.  Were you artistic, athletic, organized or carefree? Did you have an active imagination? Were you quiet or the loudest kid in the room.  Did you like attention or prefer to quietly observe? All of these are characteristics and all of them are good and positive. There is nothing about us that is not beautiful. Yes, we sometimes have to learn to use our qualities in context, but we don’t have to be someone we are not or give up those traits that feel true to us. First, because we will never do it successfully and secondly, we will always feel like we are missing a piece of ourselves. Lastly, we will not come across as authentic to others.  Have you ever met someone who seems to be behaving in a way that does not seem “true” or authentic, even though you have never met them before? They just don't resonate as "real" or authentic! You can feel that they are not “themselves”, even though you have nothing to go on, except, a feeling. Chances are, as you get to know them better you will see that “real self” come out, if only for a moment and as you glimpse that person you will feel more comfortable with them.  So, if we are forced or choose to mask and hide our natural traits, we not only feel inauthentic to ourselves, but to others we meet and interact with, as well. Try doing things you loved as a kid or connecting with people you knew long ago. This can sometimes help to bring out that original self. 

​       As a kid, I loved art, writing, music and creating of all types. During the period of my life that I was most lost and out sync with myself, I had none of those activities in my life in any form. I remember my sister commenting on the fact that I didn’t even have any pictures on the walls in my apartment. I was a tomboy as a kid and really loved the outdoors and games or competition of all types. I was not doing anything that connected with that part of myself in any way. I loved animals as a kid and I had no pets or any connection with them at all. I loved reading and learning as a kid and I couldn’t remember the last time I read a book that wasn’t business related. I did not realize all of this and more, all at once, but I definitely felt that I was not the “me” that I wanted to be! Basically, I was at the crisis point that a lot of my clients come to me in. My life had literally fallen apart and I was being forced to evaluate how it had happened and what I could do now. I was asking myself, “Who in heck are you?” and not liking the answer.       The process of reconnecting started slowly and was a journey of renewal and discovery that felt so good. I often, refer to it as getting in touch with my “wise child” and realizing the little person I started out as was someone I really loved and respected and was “very proud” to be. I wanted to be her again and once I got started, it was so easy to be her because it just fit, like a pair of soft warm pajamas just out of dryer that are so warm and comfortable, you just know you want to put them on. 
       I started recreating me a step at a time connecting with the things I enjoyed doing and that gave me bliss. I really asked myself what things felt like and enjoyed those things that felt completely good and right. I expressed my feeling and started to feel more “me” the more I did this. I spent time with people who accepted me and made me feel good! And, the more I felt good it seemed, the more people I felt good around. It’s funny how that works! Now, my house is filled with art and I enjoy being there.  My life is about creating! I love to travel and be in the outdoors. If I have a challenging day, seeing a beautiful sunset or being in nature will always bring me back to balance and a happier state. I listen to music all the time. In the process of coming back to myself I went to 17 concerts in one year, partly fulfilling the list of concerts I had said I’d go to “someday” and partly just getting back in touch with music I loved! I connect with people more these days and realize that it’s important to me, especially being connected to my family, but I also spend a good amount of time alone –feeling connected to myself on a deep level and making sure that little girl I love, the “real me” is still there with me. I will be continuing this journey, as I have realized that we are a “work in progress”, always changing and growing, but staying connected to our core and being “brilliantly authentic”, like a rare one of kind gem!      

About the Author: Tammy Wilson Smith, PT is owner of Healthy Transformations and founder of Fun Fitness and Fabulous Food, a compilation of 3 programs to strengthen your body, nourish your soul and open your heart.   Safe & Savory, Play with Purpose Retreats and Hiking to Happiness all offer opportunities throughout the year no matter the weather, your experience or your health goals.
Here, we combine fun movement and nutritious food with new friends in a safe uplifting environment.  We encourage vulnerability in trying new things from new moves, new food, to new thoughts and experiences. Tammy's expertise as a Physical Therapist for over 30 years and her recent Wilderness First Aid training assure you are well taken care of in any circumstance. Visit www.tammywilsonsmith.com to experience past events, new registrations and a hiking calendar coming very soon.

      ​It’s been 18 years since my sister Nancy was diagnosed with leukemia and my world was shaken.  She was my person and to this day gifts me with wisdom, compassion, love and understanding.  She introduced me to Louise Hay, Caroline Myss, Deepak Chopra and many others.  She tried to teach me about protecting myself from toxic energy fields, setting boundaries, and loving myself unconditionally.  She is still teaching me those things and I hear her voice and feel her hugs daily.  It was such serendipity, that just last week, I was feeling especially sad thinking of her.  And the next morning received this email asking to write about the gifts I have received from someone who has passed to the other side.  That is no accident. . .just love from her.
      We were states away from one another, and I could hear it in her voice, that she was leaving soon.  Oh, she would try her best to muster up the strength to portray to others that she was on the mend, all while needing several platelet transfusions every week. Nancy decided a few months earlier, she was not going to go the chemo route, as she truly believed in the power of complementary medicine and alternative healing.  Being an ARNP herself, and a psychotherapist, she also knew the power of the mind and heart in healing the body.  But, I was worried and anxious, afraid of not being able to help her in some way, fearful of not getting to spend more time with her.  I took a leave of absence from work, despite the lack up emotional support from other family members, particularly my ex-husband. I ended up taking our daughter out of Jr. High school to spend the second half of those six weeks with us.  It was the first of two big decisions I made that year in order to spend more time with her.  The second happened a couple months later.  They were two of the best decisions of my life.
      During those first weeks while she was in the hospital having chemo, bone marrow biopsies, IV’s, contracting C-diff and fungal infections, her body languished, but her spirit soared.  There was a little pull out bed in her isolation room that I slept on many nights, and she would often waken at 3 or 4 in the morning, unable to fall back asleep.  That was when she would share memories of her childhood, of my childhood. You see, she was 12 years older than me, and being a twin, Nancy was essentially assigned to me, while Mom took care of my brother. I was the twin who slept better, ate better and was a bit healthier. We often joked about how she once tipped me out of my stroller and I’ve never been the same since.  And we’re not sure if it was accidental.  During those early mornings, she would talk of how mad she was as a teenager, having to give up cheerleading practice in order to come home from school to babysit.  There were two other siblings between us as well, and she was the highly capable older sister.  I missed her so much when she went off to college 300 miles away, just as I entered first grade.  When she came home from college on break, she was dressed like a hippie, smoked cigarettes (which my brother and I promptly broke) and said the word “SHIT” a lot.  I admired her.  When she married and had twin girls, I wanted to parent just like she did. . free spirited, mud pies, and homemade play dough every day.

​       Nancy had a way with words, and could make you laugh with her Norwegian accent, and stories from a time that seemed much different than mine. The stories that affected me the most were those she told of our older sister Julie, who died when Nancy was 4. The family was on a summer vacation from ND to the PNW when Julie became acutely ill.  The folks had dropped the girls off with family in Walla Walla, and then left for a second honeymoon on the coast to Seaside, OR.  I only understood much later why it was MOM never wanted to visit the OR coast when they would come to visit.  Julie died in a few days from viral meningitis. It was 1953, long before grief support groups or even encouragement to speak of loss.  Mom had already lost both brothers, and the Norwegian way, was to not speak of it. Nancy remembered the trip home on the train and a black porter (the first person of color she had ever seen) tell her in his drawl, “li’ miss, your sister, your sister is going to be just fine”.  Nancy had a way of taking you right into that train car with her, seeing and hearing that porter.  She also shared of days in the garden with Grandma Wilson, who could just be with her in silence and talk to the clouds, as if they were Julie.
Grandma was a fit 70 something during that time.  She lived 30 years beyond that time, to 100 years old and always had a special spot in her heart for Nancy.  And I I think me too, since my twin and I were the youngest of all the grandchildren.
       Nancy was the one who encouraged me to find myself, to leave an abusive marriage, and to trust men again.  She taught me to not be afraid of my emotions, to let the tears come, to speak my heart, and to give big hugs.  I think she was match making in heaven 6 weeks after she passed over, with my current husband’s late mom.
         She has been very present for me during these last couple years as I’ve started a new career and gone down the negative belief path a time or one hundred.  She’s the one who says, “atta girl”.   I met an intuitive last fall at an event, and within a few minutes she said to me, “your sister is here with you all the time. She’s right there on your shoulder. And she is so proud of you for continuing her work”. 

​About the Author:  Kate Olson, CPC, CHt, is a Life Coach, Integrative Master Hypnotherapist, EFT & NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer and Reiki Master located in Seattle, Northern Lights Life Coaching www.northernlightscoaching.net & Embrace Change Hypnosis & NLP www.embracechangehypnosis.com.  Kate offers workshops & classes, as well as, individual and group coaching. Her emphasis is on assisting clients in finding Path, Purpose and Peace. Kate focuses on integration of mind, body, spirit wellness. It is her mission to help clients find joy through connection, creative expression and embracing change.  She is passionate about creativity, travel, personal growth and enjoying life. She has another wellness-related business offering Salt Therapy, Salt Works Saltariums.  Salt Therapy offers an all natural treatment solution for respiratory and skin problems.​ All three businesses operate as Dba's under Total Well Resources, LLC.  Kate is a speaker, writer and event facilitator.  She is also a radio show host on Contact Talk Radio, www.ctrnetwork.com/embracechange hosting "Embrace Change with Kate ".   

      I was frantically going through old boxes of treasures and mementos with tears streaming down my face. The longer I looked the more emotional I felt and the more important it seemed that I find the “The Letter”! It was April 12, 2012, my Mother’s Birthday and almost two decades since her passing. She had given me the letter along with my birthday card seven months before her death. It was an inelegant letter written in her almost unreadable tiny back-slanted chicken scratch handwriting and as I searched I was upset with myself for feeling so emotional. Why was it so important now?  I knew I had kept it and I had put it in a special place where I thought I would always find it. I thought someday I would share it with my sister, as proof I think. Proof of what? Proof that Mom had loved me? Proof that I was right? Proof that I was valued? Proof that I loved her and that she knew it? Proof that we had forgiven each other? I wasn’t sure, but It was important that I find it! I knew that! I continued to search until finally exhausted, I put the boxes back together and packed them away in the garage. I was upset that I had not found the letter and could not get it off my mind. Why was it so compelling at this time in my life? I would search again when I was fresh, I thought, and find it! It was probably one of those things where it had been there all the time in front of me and I just wasn’t seeing it.
       I never did look for the letter again. Had I lost it or even accidently thrown it away? I would never know if the words she wrote were exactly what I remembered, because I knew it didn’t matter. I had a dream that night that cleared everything up and left me with a deep sense of peace. I realized that I would never need to find the letter and that I would never show it to my sister. It did not matter what words were written on the paper! All that needed to be said or understood between my Mother and I had been conveyed over time in an energy and knowing that was invisible, more real and pervasive than anything that could ever be put into words on a piece of paper. The letter was just a symbol of the deep understanding of the relationship, bond, learning, pain, love, acceptance, gratitude and forgiveness that had been there in that relationship between my Mother and me.
         I knew that the letter had failed to say two of the three phrases I had longed to hear. It had not said, “I am sorry” or “thank you”, but I knew that I heard and understood those feelings and those words in what she had written. It had said, “I love you!” This had never been easy for Mom to say or show, but she had taken to saying it often in her last couple years of life. It was important to hear and I had started to believe it and was able to say it back without thinking too much about the past. 

        I knew that the letter had failed to say two of the three phrases I had longed to hear. It had not said, “I am sorry” or “thank you”, but I knew that I heard and understood those feelings and those words in what she had written. It had said, “I love you!” This had never been easy for Mom to say or show, but she had taken to saying it often in her last couple years of life. It was important to hear and I had started to believe it and was able to say it back without thinking too much about the past.
       I knew that she understood that I had forgiven her and that I realized she had given me gifts even in the worst of times that made me stronger and better. I realized that she had been both my strength and my weakness and that we had learned compassion from one another --- so many lessons born from a journey that had been difficult, painful and very human! It was on that day and with that realization that I knew I was fully ready to be myself and trust myself. I would never again struggle with the past or wonder who I was.
       A weight had been lifted and I was lighter, more joyful, even blissful, in a way I had not remembered feeling since I was a small child. I knew decisions would come easier now and my direction would be clear. I felt free to be myself and knew I had a purpose. I did not just know I had a purpose; I knew what it was!  It took a few years to connect all the pieces of myself that had been scattered about and pull myself into being. Reconnecting with the person I was meant to be and being congruent with my purpose opened up the doors to being able to express my deepest passions! A light had been turned on and I really loved what I saw! I knew it was that day looking for the “The Letter” and realizing it had all happened in the space inside of me and there was nothing I had yet to find,-- that was the beginning of my path to purpose and peace and feeling fully, unapologetically, proudly me! Thank you, Mom! Rest in peace! I love you!  

​About the Author:  Kate Olson, CPC, CHt, is a Life Coach, Integrative Master Hypnotherapist, EFT & NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer and Reiki Master located in Seattle, Northern Lights Life Coaching www.northernlightscoaching.net & Embrace Change Hypnosis & NLP www.embracechangehypnosis.com.  Kate offers workshops & classes, as well as, individual and group coaching. Her emphasis is on assisting clients in finding Path, Purpose and Peace. Kate focuses on integration of mind, body, spirit wellness. It is her mission to help clients find joy through connection, creative expression and embracing change.  She is passionate about creativity, travel, personal growth and enjoying life. She has another wellness-related business offering Salt Therapy, Salt Works Saltariums.  Salt Therapy offers an all natural treatment solution for respiratory and skin problems.​ All three businesses operate as Dba's under Total Well Resources, LLC.  Kate is a speaker, writer and event facilitator.  She is also a radio show host on Contact Talk Radio, www.ctrnetwork.com/embracechange hosting "Embrace Change with Kate ".   

       Most of us have no desire to be a victim and most of us don’t want to be a bully or victimizer either, yet finding yourself in one of these roles can easily happen without you knowing or intending that to be the case. Why is this? It happens because we are relating to and interacting with others, some of whom are stuck in and constantly repeating these patterns because they have worked in the past and are familiar to them.
     The victim role rarely works for anyone in the long run, but in the short run it can seem to be effective and give some satisfying secondary gains. That is not to say that there are not people who are really victimized, but that being in that position usually takes some cooperation and is not ultimately advantageous.
     If you are a caring person who wants to help others, you have probably, at least once, found yourself in a position you did not intend, where someone is claiming to be your victim. I recently found myself there and had to evaluate how this happened and accept responsibility for my part in it.  Someone asked me for help and I was more than willing to help them. They were likeable and seemed to be sincere. It is my nature to want to help someone, if I can. I did get that little Spidey feeling that they were someone who would use me, but I thought if I was willing there wasn’t any way that it would be harmful.  So, I proceeded to help them and after a while I found I was helping them even more than I intended and yes, starting to feel taken advantage of. I tested this out by asking some very small things of them and, of course, they were not willing to reciprocate in any way.  So, I pulled back in my willingness and generosity of what I was sharing and what I got was disrespect for my boundaries and resentment for what I wasn’t willing to do for them.  "Hmmm?" I thought, "I have created this. haven’t I?"
      I had to think about it and came to the conclusion that I had let this person into to my life and decided to engage in this relationship and disregarded my intuition. I had made a faulty judgement in deciding that they could not hurt me, as long as I was willing to help and I had probably done them a disservice in allowing them to use me to accomplish what they were fully capable of doing for themselves.  So, it’s on me and I need to extricate myself from the situation and know better the next time.
      Does this mean we should not help others? No, but pay attention when you sense that someone has a pattern of using other people. Does this mean that people who are in the habit of using other people and falling into the victim syndrome are bad people? No, it just means that they likely have misjudged their own abilities and have low confidence and therefore, have fallen into this pattern. It has worked in the past and, in general, has the pay back of the sympathy they get when others assume them the victim. It is ultimately quite self-destructive, but until they see that, they feel others are causing them the difficulties they are experiencing. 

      When you seek to help, make sure you empower and don’t allow dependence. Don’t blame or accept responsibilities for others decisions or behaviors. Support, but encourage responsibility and capability. When you give, give freely without expectation. Be grateful for both what you receive and the opportunity to give. We never have to be a victim, we always have a choice to see things from another perspective and rise to our higher self, seeing clearly the choices and decisions we have made and sometimes the lessons we have learned from them.
      If you recognize that you have been victimized or played the victim role in a given situation, note how that felt and make the decision to choose differently next time.  If you find that you have a pattern of “being the victim”, ask yourself why you are making that choice. What is the secondary gain that you are getting from making that choice? Is it really working the way you’d like or are you really paying too high a price for what you get from it? You may be deluding yourself as to how you appear to others. While we sometimes see victims in a sympathetic light, we also tend to see them as weak and not in control or inconsequential. Is that image how you want to seen and is it the real you? Does it help you in achieving your ultimate goals and being who you are truly meant to be? These are questions only you can answer, but for most people the answer is clear and can be life changing.
     As an empath, I feel people’s pain and it took me a long time to realize that much of it is self-inflicted or accepted by choice, even while doing it myself. There is a saying that “pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice”. I believe this is true and being a victim is certainly a form of suffering we can choose to avoid. I hope you live in your own strength and truth with kindness, compassion, integrity, responsibility, love and acceptance!  

​About the Author: Geraldine Banes was born in the UK, on the Southwestern-Most Peninsula of Wales, close to Ireland. From an early age she was interested in art, design & creative writing. Geraldine got her education in the Art and Design field, married, divorced and then on her own with a small daughter, ended up getting a job with an American company, Microsoft. This brought her to the US. What started out as a short-term contract job turned into a 22-year career with Microsoft. She loved her job and may have stayed, if it were not for a life changing event that made her reconsider everything.
      In 2009, at the age of 50, while on business in Britain, Geraldine suffered a heart attack. Her right super dominant artery was 98% clogged with a clot. She had a stent placed, and her femoral artery bifurcated. She realized that she had to change her life. Like the phoenix from the ashes, 2010 was to be her pivotal point. She already had an interest in Alternative Health, specifically Craniosacral Therapy & Reiki as she had found these modalities helpful in her own recovery. She enrolled in Massage School to learn about Anatomy, Physiology and Kinesiology. She found an office space and started her practice.  After 5 years, she began looking for her own space. She had a vision of what it would be like. She looked for almost two years and nearly gave up. One day a building came up that spoke to her the minute she set foot in the door. It was a historical building, an old bank building, with great bones. After another year of renovation and manifesting, it turned into her beautiful Studio Beju in downtown historic Duvall, WA. She set out with a wing and a prayer to build a community of like-minded women practitioners who combine both alternative health and creative expression. Today it exists and is thriving! It is a place for uplifting workshops, classes and services and celebrates 3 years in business this April 2018! She has found her purpose and passion in life!
​
 Studio Beju
15630 Main Street.
Duvall, WA 98019
425-318-6422
 www.studiobeju.com

      ​Most of us are familiar with “Goldilocks and The Three Bears”, a popular nursery tale. Goldilocks goes for a walk in the woods and finds a house. She knocks on the door, no one answers so plucky thing she is, she goes in and finds 3 bowls of porridge: One was too hot, one was too cold, but the last one was ‘just right.’ After eating the porridge, she finds 3 chairs: One was too big, one was too small, and then there was one that was ‘just right’ but on sitting on it she broke the chair into pieces! Then she went upstairs because she was tired and found 3 beds: One was too hard, one was too soft, but one was just right and so she snuggled down to sleep.
     Of course, the Bears came home and complained loudly that someone had been eating their porridge, and that someone had been sitting in their chairs, and had broken one, and going upstairs they found the culprit sleeping in one of their beds!  With that Goldilocks springs out of bed, jumps through the window and escapes, never to return again. So, what’s the story really about? A cautionary tale of too much entitlement or a tale of discovery to find her own ‘just right’? There are many ways to view this, from the duality of organization vs chaos to the literary use of repetition and the use of three. Notice that every third trial is ‘just right’ in the nursery tale – two wrongs ultimately leading to a ‘right’.
How do you find your ‘just right’ in business, creativity or life? The answer may lay in the magic of threes. I found out myself that there's a psychological magic in the number 3. For example, if I put out 1 or 2 printed newsletters in front of the Studio they don't get picked up. If I put out 4 or more, they don't get picked up. But 3, Oh boy. Yes, every time!  I need to replenish the front table as soon as I notice one or two have been taken by passersby. That way we shift ALL the newsletters every month. Like magic!
Similarly, in broad general terms when we think of optimal health for the body we are looking to find a motile flexibility, where the body or mind is not too rigid, nor too flexible, but within the range of a Goldilocks zone where everything seems ‘just right’. This Goldilocks zone is the optimal sphere of existence, balance and resilience.
      So how do you apply this to your Creativity and/or manifesting your life’s purpose? Why not try applying the rule of three. If you are super creative, but have difficulty turning this into reality then try 2 somethings that are the opposite of you. Something more rigid and orderly. It can be anything from learning to de-clutter or applying for business mastery at night school. If you have a natural tendency to order and neatness, go out of your comfort zone and explore what it feels like to be messy, spontaneous, and free thinking. Find a messy creative friend to help loosen those orderly chains! Let go of control and enjoy creative freedom. The point is to learn enough to find your own ‘just right’. 
This month I'm celebrating the 3's and late March/early April is the Studio Beju’s third year in business!!  In starting out, I had a general idea of what the place would be. I drew my Vision Board with as much vibrancy & care as possible. 

Geraldine's Vision Board

      ​I envisioned a place that combines Mind/Body/Spirit practices and where you could explore art, craft, music, meditation & movement as a healthy holistic way of being.  Spaces for rent, a hub for people to find a modality or skill or way of being that appeals to them & maybe helps them in some way or helps them teach & give back something that has helped them. I decided to give it 5 years to see if it could be achieved as I'd read that it usually takes up to 5 years to get established. I've just read that those who work in small business say it's the first 3 years that show whether they will survive and have what it takes. Some small business advisers say that the venture is still in the start-up phase for the first 3 years.
This is because there's so much to learn about setting up a business. Whoo! They aren’t wrong there. So, this year three is the seminal year and certainly a year to take stock. Things that work, things that don’t so much, and things I’ve started to gain a measure for.
     From the spectrum of orderly vs chaotically creative, I am definitely in the chaotically creative camp. I’ve been lucky to be creative all my life. Ideas flow!  But, I am also messy, disorganized, and hate paperwork. So, this year I’m going to take a leaf out of my own book and take some scheduling classes, pick up some Feng Shui tips and learn how to organize my office more effectively & maybe engage an orderly & patient friend to help me over my own hurdles & build that 5-year plan I should have done in the first place. What are you going to do? 

Geraldine's Creation - Studio Beju 

About the Author:  Kate Olson, CPC, CHt, is a Life Coach, Integrative Master Hypnotherapist, EFT & NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer and Reiki Master located in Seattle, Northern Lights Life Coaching www.northernlightscoaching.net & Embrace Change Hypnosis & NLP www.embracechangehypnosis.com.  Kate offers workshops & classes, as well as, individual and group coaching. Her emphasis is on assisting clients in finding Path, Purpose and Peace. Kate focuses on integration of mind, body, spirit wellness. It is her mission to help clients find joy through connection, creative expression and embracing change.  She is passionate about creativity, travel, personal growth and enjoying life. She has another wellness-related business offering Salt Therapy, Salt Works Saltariums.  Salt Therapy offers an all natural treatment solution for respiratory and skin problems.​ All three businesses operate as Dba's under Total Well Resources, LLC.  Kate is a speaker, writer and event facilitator.  She is also a radio show host on Contact Talk Radio, www.ctrnetwork.com/embracechange hosting "Embrace Change with Kate ".   

     We start out with an intention and a goal, but why do we not achieve or reach that intention? What happens to get in the way and keep us stuck or stalled. Why is it so hard to just do it! If you have heard the saying, “it’s all in your head”, that pretty much sums it up. Maybe that is a slight over-simplification, but really not that far from the truth! We fill the space in between doing and not doing with a lot of clutter. As you all know clutter gets in the way! So, how do we get rid of the clutter and clear the path for action! It is a process that takes some discipline and the knowledge that you are in control. It is actually a matter of mindset. You also have to be clear on your priorities and motivation to achieve what you set out to do. Obviously, we have a limited amount of time, so only so much can be achieved in a given period of time. However, if you limit the clutter and are motivated, you will be amazed at how productive you can be and how much can be achieved. Left unchecked procrastination becomes a habit and so to change that habit we must develop a new and better habit. I am going to give you some tips on how to go about the process of changing this old and defeating habit and with your new mindset becoming a productive action taker.
     First, ask yourself what you “put off” and why? While procrastination is a universal behavior, it seems we are very individual on what we procrastinate on and why we do it. Figuring out what the thinking behind your inaction is, will help you in identifying what thought patterns and behaviors need to be changed. If you can identify those thought patterns and the often-limiting beliefs behind them, you are well on your way to change.
 
Where do you start? Listed below are some suggested steps that will become your action-plan and if you will follow them, you can end your procrastination very quickly!

1. Set a goal and write it down
2. Set an end date for achieving your goal
3. Break it down into small steps
4. Get in touch with your feelings
5. Push past resistance and accept no excuses
6. Silence negative self-talk  
7. Face your fear or pain and push past it (3 seconds of courage)
8. Adjust your self-perception to see yourself as an action-taker
9. Reward yourself for progress
10. Ask for help from a friend, coach or accountability partner
11. Repeat this process until it becomes habit!

​       It seems simple enough, right? Perhaps you think it is too simple and therefore, will not work. If it were just this simple, why is procrastination such a hard problem to overcome? The reason is that you believe it has to be difficult and you are in the habit of dwelling in that mindset. Try the steps above with a “can do” attitude and you will find changing this habit is, in fact, surprisingly easy.  So, you want to go to the gym and get in better shape. Write down that goal and be very specific. It should be measurable and have a specific timeframe or end date.  
 
Goal Example:
 “I will go to the gym and work out for an hour three times a week for the next six months!”
 
Write down the date six months in the future when you will have achieved your initial goal of getting in better shape. Post this date on your calendar and your mirror, refrigerator, desk or somewhere very visible where you see it regularly.
 
Now break down your workout routine into small steps that increase in intensity gradually. You can even start with a shorter workout period and work up, just make sure to keep your schedule and if you have to deviate or slip up, get right back to it.
 
Examine your feelings when they come up and get a hold of “the why” behind your procrastination. Is it a fear? Pain? Prior bad experience? Knowing why will help you move past it.
 
You will feel resistance and this is where you need some discipline and resolve. You will need to push past it and each time you do, it will make the next time easier. Accept no excuses –so, you are tired, you don’t feel well, you don’t have enough time. Unless you are truly ill with valid symptoms, these are really just self-defeating excuses and you must push past them. This is will power and discipline, but it is also courage. It is that 3-second decision to push past whatever obstacles or fears might present themselves and just do it!  Most of the time, it turns out not to have been as scary, painful or difficult or time consumming,  as we were imagining it would be.
 
It is also helpful to change how you look at, talk about and see yourself.  Stop saying, ”I am this way” or “I always do that!” or even making those sarcastic jokes that seem so funny, but can be subconsciously programming you as to who you believe you really are and what you think you can do! Be kind to your self and support yourself with the same confidence-building support you would give to a good friend.
 
Along the way, give yourself small rewards as you make progress toward your goal or when you achieve it. We are more motivated when we get a reward or reward ourselves, even if it is only a small acknowledgement. Everyone responds positively to encouragement.
 
Having a friend who supports and encourages you, a coach or an accountability partner can make a huge impact on helping you toward your goals. Hanging out with other people who are motivated action-takers can also be inspiring and helpful.
 
Lastly, once you have broken the procrastination habit and achieved a goal, repeat and make “not procrastinating” or being a motivated action-taker a positive and desirable habit! Make it who you are!
 
     This process can work long or short-term. It can work on something small or that big and overwhelming thing you thought was impossible. You just have to implement and in the process, change your mindset. It really is that simple and can be that easy, if you will believe it is!  Be your own “Action Hero" and just do it now! 

​About the Author:  Shelley Abrams spent close to 25 years as a corporate technical writer before branching out on her own as a freelancer in 2010. She loves writing and doing research and enjoys the diversity being a freelancer offers. She has contributed to blogs on spirituality, personal development, mindfulness, and health and wellness. She has written and maintained philosophical and spiritually based content for a paid membership site. She is currently co-authoring a non-fiction book that offers a unique spin on history and geology. She also does analysis and report writing for a marketing research firm. She has an MBA, as well as, a certificate in non-fiction writing. When she’s not writing, she likes being out in nature or just reflecting in the quiet. She finds history, geography, philosophy and meta-physics fascinating. She also loves traveling, meeting new people and experiencing different cultures. To learn more about Ms. Abrams’ writing experiences, visit her website at www.write2spec.com.

​February is the month everyone focuses on the important relationships in their lives, mostly with other people. We want people to accept us, to love us, so we do all we can to make ourselves “perfect” in their eyes. But isn’t the relationship you have with yourself the most important? After all, you are a part of everything you do, everything that happens to you and everything (and everyone) you engage with.
 
Doesn’t it make sense that if the relationship you have with yourself is the most important, you should spend time focused on it, nurturing it and embracing it? Most of us do the opposite. We put ourselves down, we judge everything we do or say, and our inner voice is often our own worst critic. We seek to quell our self-loathing and negative self-love by looking to others for approval. We bend over backwards to please them, even swearing to change for them! But is that really the way we should go about changing our opinion of ourselves? I think not!
 
As I said earlier, you are a part of everything that goes in your life! That means your relationship with yourself affects everything that goes on in your life. All relationships have their challenges. The relationship with yourself is no exception. It can even be scary! But if you want to make your life the best it can be, you must have a positive relationship with yourself.
 
So what’s the key to doing that? Self-acceptance - the unconditional “I accept myself for who I am, with all my faults and quirks” kind.
 
“You've got to be able to look at the mirror and smile at yourself. If you can't do that, you've got work to do. You have to learn to get along with yourself, to like yourself, to be proud of yourself. You've got to learn to celebrate yourself. You need to be able to love yourself before you can ever appreciate anyone else who does. You're worth it. Put the work in to have the best relationship with yourself that's possible.” ~ Akiroq Brost
 
Now, we’re not talking about stoking the ego or saying what’s bad about you is really good. No! It is about finding compassion within yourself to accept and love who you are – all of you. It isn’t about not wanting to change; it’s more about the reason to change. Instead of changing to please others, if you love and accept yourself, you willingly transform to become your best self!
 
"Accept everything about yourself--I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end--no apologies, no regrets." ~ Clark Moustakas
 
We all know the negative ramifications of being down on ourselves. Let’s look instead at the good stuff – the positive effects of loving and accepting yourself.

Self-acceptance is the key to happiness and emotional well-being
 
If you constantly complain about yourself, your situation or other things around you, how can you possibly be happy? If you constantly try to change yourself so that others will like you, you have tethered your own happiness to someone else’s opinion. How does that serve you? It doesn’t. 
 
If you lack self-acceptance and self-love, you may try to “buy happiness” through excessive materialism, excessive stimulation or excessive approval-seeking behaviors. All these things feed into our negative self-image. But when all is said and done, you’ve overspent and made yourself unhealthier and miserable. Then, you begin the cycle of self-loathing and seeking happiness outside yourself all over again.
 
If you want happiness, you need to let go the negative self-talk, of trying to fit a mold that isn’t you. You need to become your authentic self. Become who you really are! When you can accept the whole of yourself, your happiness will increase exponentially.
 
“Your skin is your skin. Your legs are your legs. Your hair is your hair. Your smile is your smile. Your past is your past. You can waste your life hating these things, but you may as well learn to accept them. Both routes are difficult and full of pain, but with acceptance, you will be happy one day, while with hatred, you never will.” ~ Vironika Tugaleva
 
Self-acceptance is the key to good relationships
 
Many of us put our relationships with other people ahead of our relationship with ourselves. We expect them to accept and love us. Heck, we demand it through our actions and our thoughts. We bend over backwards to please others, even going so far as trying to change who we are into something others want us to be. And we expect the same of them!
 
But isn’t this backwards? How can you possibly expect others around you to accept you if you don’t accept yourself first? How can anyone know you if you are constantly trying to fit an image someone else has of you rather than the image of who you truly are?
 
Sure, it can be downright scary to show our real selves to the world. To expose who we are. But it’s an essential step if we want to have healthy, solid relationships with everyone around us – not just our families or significant others, but our co-workers, our neighbors and even strangers we come across every day.
 
If you want to strengthen your relationships, first be compassionate with yourself! Forgive yourself. Accept yourself. If you engage in all relationships from a position of self-acceptance and self-love, you’ll find it much easier to maneuver the relationship maze and have unconditional love for everyone who crosses your path! You’ll also feel more confident and loving. Most importantly, it becomes your new normal. And others will respond to that in kind.
 
 
Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” ~ Lao Tzu 

Self-acceptance is the key to good physical and mental health
 
Being constantly down on yourself is stressful and a drain on your energy. What impact do you think that has on your health? Negative energy affects your body and your mind at a cellular level. This ultimately manifests itself in illness – temporary or chronic.
 
Many people in the scientific and spiritual community say “you are what you think”. From a physical and mental health standpoint, they are right! If you have a poor attitude about yourself and constantly talk to yourself in a negative way, you are feeding the bad energy and making yourself sick. Feed it positive words - and believe them. It can literally turn an illness on its head and improve your health in ways you cannot imagine. Forgive your body for being ill, love it, and see what happens!
 
"There is much documented proof that the mind and body are connected, so acceptance of your body is not only essential for your emotional well-being, it is essential for your physical health as well. Denying your body complete acceptance can lead to illness, whereas practicing acceptance can heal disease." ~ Andrew Adler
 
This all sounds good, you say, but how do I do it? Here are some tips that may help:
 

1. Express gratitude. Get into the habit of expressing gratitude for yourself and everything about you. Say thank you and mean it! Do this several times a day, especially when you first wake up and before you go to sleep. Say it lovingly, forcefully and whole-heartedly. Try it for a week and notice a difference. 
2. Go inward. Meditate. Spend time in quiet contemplation getting in touch with your true self on a daily basis. No judgement, just a quiet awareness of your body and mind. Find inner peace with yourself and self-acceptance becomes easier. 
3. Change your inner talk. Be aware of what you say to yourself. Keep a journal. Every time you say something negative about yourself, put a tick mark in it. Or, write down words you use to describe yourself. At the end of the day notice the patterns. Then, make a commitment to yourself to have a few less tick marks the next day. Or rework one negative word about yourself into a positive one. Do this daily. Self-awareness goes a long way towards self-acceptance. 
4. Do the mirror exercise. Stand in front of the mirror naked and listen to what your mind says to you. After you’ve let your mind vent a moment or two about what it sees, stop. Close your eyes, re-center yourself, then relook at the mirror, open your arms and say “I Love You”! Say this at least 5 times to start and increase it over time. It will feel very uncomfortable. But you know the saying – “fake it till you make it”. If you do it consistently, you and more importantly your mind, will believe it!  

About the Author:  Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW is a colorfully creative journalist, inspiring transformational speaker, licensed social worker, interfaith minister, editor, radio host, BLISS coach, event producer, Cosmic Concierge, the author of The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming The Ordinary Into The Extraordinary and co-author of Embraced By the Divine: The Emerging Woman’s Gateway to Power, Passion and Purpose. She has also contributed to several anthologies and personal growth books. Edie has interviewed such notables as Ram Dass, Wayne Dyer, Debbie Ford, don Miguel Ruiz, don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. Marianne Williamson, Grover Washington, Jr. Noah Levine, Shirley MacLaine, Dennis Weaver, Ben and Jerry and His Holiness the Dalai Lama.  She calls herself an Opti-mystic who sees the world through the eyes of possibility. Edie writes for The Huffington Post, Psych Central, Beliefnet, Elephant Journal, The Good Men Project, Expanded Family, Meaningful Mom, Bucks Happening, Montco Happening, Hunterdon Happening, as well as a growing number of other venues. Edie is the founder of Hug Mobsters Armed With Love, which offers FREE HUGS events on a planned and spontaneous basis. www.opti-mystical.com 

     ​Human beings are, by nature, social creatures. Even those who live alone, work in isolated settings or don’t claim to be ‘touchy feely people,’ still require some sort of contact. Sadly, in many cases, touch is either coerced, limited, sexual, violent or absent. That leaves people feeling touched deprived and seeking other outlets for human needs that may fall into the category of addiction.
     Since our skin is our single biggest organ, it is essential that we experience nurturing touch. What can be referred to as ‘skin hunger,’ is as an important a need to feed as physiological hunger. Without it, studies have shown that babies fail to thrive. Without it, adults do as well. We live in such a touch-deprived and touch-negative society. According to Virginia Satir, ‘we need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
     According to Matt Hertenstein, an experimental psychologist at DePauw University in Indiana, “Hand-holding or hugging also results in a decrease of the stress hormone cortisol.”
"Having this friendly touch, just somebody simply touching our arm and holding it, buffers the physiological consequences of this stressful response," Hertenstein adds.
     This kind of skin to skin contact raises the level of oxytocin, known as ‘the cuddle hormone,’ that kicks in when mothers nurse their babies, when orgasm takes place and when people get all cozy, even without sexual interaction. I like to add that “More oxytocin means less oxycontin.”
    I was fortunate to have been raised in a family where nurturing touch was plentiful and by consent. Hugs, cuddles and massage were regular occurrences in my home and when I was a teenager, I was involved in a youth group where we would sometimes hang out together in puppy piles at weekend retreats.
    Hugs meet skin hunger needs, which are just as vital for wellbeing as food hunger. Without nurturing, non-sexual touch, by consent, we fail to thrive. Touch need not be shared only or primarily between sexually intimate partners. It is not only possible but indeed, enjoyable to cuddle/hug with platonic friends. I have ‘cuddle buddies,’ of all genders who help meet those needs. 

     ​One of my friends had asked awhile back about my HQ; which she identified as Hug Quality. I like to think it is stellar since I do it so much. One of my regular activities is organizing and engaging in FREE Hugs events. I am one of those daring people who stand on street corners with a sign that lets folks know I am offering them. Most say yes, some decline and I respect that as I encourage them to hug someone, even themselves. I began doing this on Valentines’ Day weekend 2014 when I gathered a group of friends at 30th Street Station in Philadelphia, colloquially known as The City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection, for a FREE Hugs Flash mob. In an hours’ time we hugged over 100 people who were making their way through. One was an Iraq War vet who told us that he was the only survivor of his platoon and he had contemplated suicide until he met us, since we gave him hope. He asked if he could join us. We gladly gave him a FREE Hugs sign and soon he was on his way, handing out hugs. Friends started calling us          ‘Hugmobsters’ and I added the tag line ‘armed with love,’ to counteract the image of mobsters as violent.
In June of that year, at the age of 55, I had a heart attack. As part of my cardiac rehab, I did a lot of walking through my small suburban Philly town called Doylestown. Since hugs are heart healthy, I decided to combine the two activities. Now, nearly four years later, I estimate that I have hugged thousands of people, on the streets of DC, NY, Portland, OR, in airports, in other train stations, at athletic events, at street fairs, in restaurants, at my polling place on Election Day 2016 and many other locales since then. When I hug people, I don’t know what their political beliefs are. I encourage kindness and acceptance. Hugs bring people together across all divides.
      When I hug people, I slow down and breathe with them. I am fully present, if only for 20 seconds. Longer is preferable. I feel a mutual heartbeat. When we step away, we carry a piece of each other, a strand of love. Sometimes they cry. Sometimes I do. We each smile and often laugh.  We allow ourselves to be fully human. I have been asked how it feels to hug strangers. I respond that once we have hugged, we are no longer strangers. I also have been asked if I feel rejected if people turn down hugs. I don’t since I know that everyone’s touch needs are different.

​     Another conversation arises when there are children present. I always ask the parent, “If it is okay with you AND okay with your child, may I offer them a hug?” If the child says no, I respect that. Too often, children are told, “Go hug Aunt so and so,” when they really don’t want to. It is about body sovereignty. If children are taught that that they have a choice, it could prevent a new generation from facing the onslaught of unwanted touch. In the wave of #metoo, it is even more important to claim that right.

    I also facilitate a workshop for adults, called Cuddle Party which teaches communication, boundary setting and offers nurturing, non-sexual touch, by consent. Some objections to this experience which was founded in 2004, is “Eew, icky strangers. Who wants to cuddle with strangers?” Even if people don’t know each other at the beginning of our time together, they may leave feeling like family of choice. “Why should I pay to cuddle?” I tell them that the workshop is about learning skills that enhance relationships and that the touch aspect is a bonus of those interactions. “Only lonely losers need this.” People of all walks of life attend, from business people to therapists, from students, to CEOs of corporations, from moms and dads to grandparents, from Marines to teachers. Some are in relationships with partners who are not as affectionate and encourage them to attend. Some are single. In the 12 years I have been a certified facilitator, I have cuddled people from all around the world, and lost count of how many I have facilitated; estimating over 300. One at which I assisted, held at a conference in the DC area, had around 400 people in attendance. Normally, they are far smaller, from 10-30 people.
     Why touch matters:

• Enhances brain development
• Provides pain relief
• Creates a sense of trust
• Strengthens the immune system
• Increases the ‘feel good’ chemicals oxytocin and dopamine
• Enhances non-sexual intimacy
• Reduces drug and alcohol cravings
• High-fives and hugging teammates improves performance
• When teachers touch students on the shoulder, class participation increases

 
     Love is contagious, with healthy, nurturing touch as a carrier.

 About the Author:  Kate Olson, CPC, CHt, is a Life Coach, Integrative Master Hypnotherapist, EFT & NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer and Reiki Master located in Seattle, Northern Lights Life Coaching www.northernlightscoaching.net & Embrace Change Hypnosis & NLP
www.embracechangehypnosis.com.  Kate offers workshops & classes, as well as, individual and group coaching. Her emphasis is on assisting clients in finding Path, Purpose and Peace. Kate focuses on integration of mind, body, spirit wellness. It is her mission to help clients find joy through connection, creative expression and change facilitation. She is passionate about creativity, travel, personal growth and enjoying life. She has another  wellness-related business offering Salt Therapy, Salt Works Saltariums. Salt Therapy offers an all natural treatment solution for respiratory and skin problems.​ All three businesses operate as Dba's under Total Well Resources, LLC.  She is also a radio show host on Contact Talk   Radio, www.ctrnetwork.com/embracechange hosting "Embrace Change with Kate & Michelle".  She is a       speaker, writer and event facilitator.  

      Intuition is one of our greatest gifts and most valuable tools and learning how to be aware of and pay attention to it is one of the best things you will ever learn. We know so much more than we think we do. Our senses our constantly taking into, processing and storing information and we do this on a sub-conscious level so quickly and automatically that our conscious mind has a hard time keeping up. What exactly is intuition and why is it so important for us to pay and attention and connect with it? See the dictionary definition below:
 
the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.
"we shall allow our intuition to guide us"
synonyms:
instinct, intuitiveness; More

a thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.
plural noun: intuitions
"your insights and intuitions as a native speaker are positively sought"
synonyms:
hunch, feeling (in one's bones), inkling, (sneaking) suspicion, idea, sense, notion;

 
In his article in Psychology Today, “What is Intuition, And How Do We Use It?”, Francis Cholle, August 31,2011, defines it this way:

Instinct and Intuition, as I define it, is this:

• Instinct is our innate inclination toward a particular behavior (as opposed to a learned response).
• A gut feeling—or a hunch—is a sensation that appears quickly in consciousness (noticeable enough to be acted on if one chooses to) without us being fully aware of the underlying reasons for its occurrence.
• Intuition is a process that gives us the ability to know something directly without analytic reasoning, bridging the gap between the conscious and nonconscious parts of our mind, and also between instinct and reason.
 
      With these definitions in mind then how can we understand intuition and its importance in our daily lives and why we need to be aware of and use it whenever we can. Well, the truth is conscious reasoning only account for 20% of our brain power, while sub-conscious is 80% of our brain power. In his article listed above, Francis Cholle makes his case that we are doing ourselves a disservice if we only use logical reasoning or the conscious part of our brain in our decision making. We need both parts of our brain and its full power in order to make the best decisions for ourselves. The conscious mind works in a very linear way and is limited, though relentless, in it’s reasoning ability and resources. The sub-conscious mind crosses the dimensions of time and space and pulls information together in a very non-linear way leading to what the conscious mind can only call hunches or “information it has no explanation for”, while, in fact, it is information that has been mined, in much the same way a computer works, from your own mind’s resources Having this added knowledge accessible to us is so valuable, seen if we cannot readily say where it came from or why we think or feel the way we do. 

     If using both our logical reasoning and our intuition can lead us to better decisions and outcomes, how can we be more aware of and access it more easily. Listed below are some ways to become more in touch with your basic instincts, intuition or gut feelings.
​ 

1. Write! Keep a journal of your random thoughts, feelings, ideas and associations that occur to you. It does not need to make sense or seem relevant. Doing this will open up your connection to your sub-conscious. 
2. Turn off judgement, of yourself and others. Allow the dialogue to happen with the input of your inner-critic and see what flows. 
3. Connect with nature. This seems to connect us to our core and that animal instinct that is an innate part of us. 
4. Allow yourself some solitary time. Solitude shuts off the outside noise and connects us to our inner most thoughts and feelings. 
5. Find a way to connect to your emotions. Sometimes a place, music, art, literature or art can help us do this. 
6. Create! Creativity brings out our most basic purpose and most instinctual connections to our inner being and expression of self. 
7. Be in Alignment! Seek authenticity, clarity and congruence in all that you do! 

     The late Steve Jobs said this about intuition, “more powerful than intellect.” We know the he must have relied on something beyond mere reasoning for his many innovations.
Whatever we call it or however we define it, if we can harness the power of intuition we will be setting ourselves up for better decisions and more successful outcomes. According to Carolyn Gregoire, in her article, “10 things Highly Intuitive People Do Differently”, Dec. 06, 2017 in the Huffington Post. highly intuitive people use all of the habits listed above. They also rely on their dreams, practice mindfulness, are highly observant of their surroundings, listen actively and attentively, get plenty of rest and listen to their inner voice and their bodies, tend to be positive and let go of negative thoughts easily. In truth we are all intuitive and sometimes more than we know, but the trick is listening and connecting to that “Spidey Sense”!
     I, personally, am fairly intuitive, however, like most people I find myself denying or trying to reason my way out of paying attention to my intuition on a fairly regular basis. I have almost always been glad when I do pay attention to my intuition. Sometimes I wish I had listened sooner and then other times I wish I had listened to those little signals while I am paying the consequences. How about you? When was the last time you had that gut feeling, inner-voice or “Spidey Feeling” about something? Did you listen and follow it?
     Right now, I am dealing with a quandary about listening to intuition that I don’t yet know the outcome on, but I went with it.  We shall see. I am also dealing with an instance where I ignored it a little longer than I should have. I finally decided to listen and I feel pretty happy that I did. I think it will pay off big time as time goes forward. The last major instance where I listened to my intuition, despite arguments to the contrary saved me from being scammed out of a thousand dollars in a scheme that thousands of other good, intelligent and well-meaning people were taken in by. I feel blessed that my “inner voice” gave me a strong warning and I paid attention. I am getting more in touch with my intuitive side all the time and the suggestions listed here will help you in doing that to. It isn’t something that happens all at once, you just slowly start becoming more comfortable in following that “feeling” when you get it and knowing that it is what is best for you, regardless of what “logic” or other evidence may tell you.  

​    We are creatures born of New Beginnings. Being born into this world takes time to become acclimatized to our body, ourselves and the life we were born into. We learn by example, we explore the boundaries of what makes us, us. We grow. We assimilate notions of how the World is. Time passes. Experiences happen. Babyhood, Toddlerhood, Preteen, Teen, Young Adult, Student, Working Adult, Retired Adult, Aged Adult and several stages in between, until our very last day, our very last breath. We all know that last days can happen at any stage of life, but we prefer not to think about it too much. We are too busy living!  Each person in their lifespan will most likely experience in differing degrees feelings of, love, betrayal, happiness (however fleeting), despair, intellectual challenge, judgement, folly, anger, remorse, friendships, breakups, boredom, lust, depression, antipathy, jealousy, and a host of other emotions too long to recant here. These emotions can either hold us back or motivate us to change & adapt. Each day that passes gives us an opportunity to grow more, or stop, or shrink down.
    So, what’s my point, what am I getting at? I was asked to write about manifesting the life you’d like to lead. Why would I start with New Beginnings? I started here because I realized that the whole point of being able to manifest anything in our lives starts with the concept of a new day and the opportunity that comes with a new beginning. If you genuinely treat each day as a new beginning, then you have a better chance of being open to a real new beginning!  So, what does this boil down to? Mindset. Mindset is everything. Our thoughts are powerful. Thoughts alone are not powerful, but thoughts allied with motivation, persistence and the ability to create something into reality become powerful & achievable when grounded in sense.

      Successful manifesting happens over time, and sometimes it is not what you’d think it would be!
 
      5 ways to manifest something good in your life:
 
  1 - Creation. Put it down on paper, draw it, breathe life into it
 
  2 - Hold the general outcome in your mind, consistently – don’t be too specific, just the general sense of           what you are setting out to achieve.
 
  3 - Be persistent in lightly pursuing your goals
 
  4 - Be open. Once you have set the first 3 Acts into motion you never know where it’ll lead or who it’ll               lead to. This becomes an interesting way to see what you are drawn to.
 
  5 - Relinquish Control. Be led by a lightness of Spirit.
 
    Some of this sounds easy but they are deceptively hard to do, especially when we are conditioned to expect things to happen quickly or without much effort. We also have a strong & understandable tendency to try to avoid the unpleasant side of life. Sometimes, the Universe has a way of waking you up to the possibilities of this life and it isn’t something you’d choose at all. It is like a test, and if you survive it sometimes the greatest breakthroughs happen after such a life changing event. This usually changes your perception & leads you to understand that life is precious, that time is all you have, and that whatever time you have left you can make a difference however big or small.
    If you look at the people who have really made a difference in their lives, and get to know their stories, it soon becomes clear that they are living their dream despite having the cards stacked against them. So, wherever you are, whatever you are doing or want to do, know you can do it with persistence and a little help from the Universe.

 About the Author:  Kate Olson, CPC, CHt, is a Life Coach, Integrative Master Hypnotherapist, EFT & NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer and Reiki Master located in Seattle, Northern Lights Life Coaching www.northernlightscoaching.net & Embrace Change Hypnosis & NLP
www.embracechangehypnosis.com. She offers workshops & classes, as well as, individual and group coaching. Her emphasis is on assisting clients in finding Path, Purpose and Peace. Kate focuses on integration of mind, body, spirit wellness. It is her mission to help clients find joy through connection, creative expression and change facilitation. She is passionate about creativity, travel, personal growth and enjoying life. She has another  wellness-related business offering Salt Therapy, Salt Works Saltariums. Salt Therapy offers an all natural treatment solution for respiratory and skin problems.​ All three businesses operate as Dba's under Total Well Resources, LLC.  She is also a radio show host on Contact Talk   Radio, www.ctrnetwork.com/embracechange hosting "Embrace Change with Kate & Michelle".  She is a       speaker, writer and event facilitator.  

       This is the season for giving and receiving as a tradition and a celebration. It is a magical time and also, a time that is filled with a great deal of commercialism, some think "greed", perhaps fake sentiments and misplaced or false intentions. A lot of people think the season has lost it's true meaning and feel like they would just like to forget about the whole thing or go back to times from the past.  Other people try to capture some of what has been lost by going way overboard and putting financial and emotional stress on themselves and their families. Of course, we cannot go back to the past and our control over what is happening in the world around us is very limited.  What can we do then, to make this season and maybe, the rest of our year, the beautiful expression of giving and celebration of life that we wish and expect it to be?
     In giving this question considerable thought, I have come to some conclusions. We must start with an attitude of gratitude, even in our own giving. I feel so blessed and grateful to be able to experience giving. It is truly a wonderful and empowering feeling to be able to give to another. In this feeling you realize you have enough, you feel good and sometimes you even get the appreciation of gratitude back from another. This is so affirming not only of own worthiness, but also of the goodness in our world and humanity itself. So, they say that it is, “more blessed to give than to receive” and I believe that is true.

​      Receiving is, of course, so much easier to understand from a standpoint of gratitude. However, it is important to feel a sense of gratitude that goes to the core of our being. That gratitude does not center on appreciation for the desired or desirable item or intangible gift we are receiving, but for the loving sentiments and thoughts behind it. I came to realize this many years ago and I am reminded of it often. I am grateful for everything that I receive whether it is something I want, have asked for, or it is clearly something that I do not want. For years, I received Christmas gifts from an older relative that, well -- I clearly had no use for or desire to possess. She would purchase them at the Dollar Store or perhaps, Good Will and some I would even guess were old items she had from years past. At first, I wondered why she felt compelled to give these items. When I noticed how much it meant to her to give these gifts, I could not help appreciating and treasuring them. She has since passed and I will have to say I miss these gifts that were given out of the pure joy to give. I try to receive every gift in this spirit these days. I try to feel grateful not for what I have received, but for the act of giving itself. It is always a beautiful feeling.
       For me this season is filled with those beautiful, warm and empowering feelings of gratitude both in giving and receiving and, there in, lies the magic of this amazing holiday season! I really don’t think about the commercialism, fakeness or inappropriateness some perceive at all. I am too busy thinking of what beautiful gifts will put a smile on the faces of family and friends and being ever grateful that there are people who think enough of me to want to put a smile on my face! I wish you a year of gratitude in 2018!   

   Laughter is contagious! We love to laugh! I personally love both laughing and hearing the sound of laughter.  It is just uplifting on a deep spiritual level! Laughter is an elixir and a magic potion and sometimes said to be a medicine with amazing healing powers.  With laughter you can make a friend, ease a conflict, solve a problem and certainly communicate joy and emotion quite effectively. There are multiple types and variations of laughter and we laugh to express ourselves in a myriad of ways and situations.     Laughter is defined as the sound of mirth, merriment or joy. Many have thought deeply of laughter and its unique qualities and expressed their own feelings about it.
 
     Here are some profound and thoughtful quotes about Laughter:
 
     “A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused!”  
      --Shirley McClain
 
     “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”  -- Charlie Chaplin
 
     “If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.” – Jimmy Buffet
 
     “We don’t laugh because we are happy, we are happy because we laugh.”
      – William James
 
     “The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”
      – Mark Twain
 
     “Everyone laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.”
      –Jakob Smirnoff
 
     “Laughter is the best medicine.” – Unknown, it is thought to have been coined from a similar phase
​       about mirth. 

 ​  Does laughter really have effectives on our physical and neurological well-being, as well as, our emotional well-being?  A great deal of research and scientific study into the effects of laughter on the body and the mind has been and is currently being done.  In general, studies have found that laughter can reduce pain and stress, improve blood flow and general cardiovascular function and increase immune system response. While studies are ongoing, laughter is believed to rewire the brain by making new neural pathways, causing the release of hormones that reduce the level of cortisol in the body and leading to better endocrine system functions, which in turn improve the body’s immune response and functioning. Laughter causes the release of serotonin and endorphins, which releases tension and improves mood. This is helpful for depression.
 
      In a study in Norway, it was found that people with a sense of humor generally lived longer than those less inclined toward humor, who tended to laugh less often. In hospital studies, it was found that those who laughed more needed less anesthesia, less time in surgery and had shorter hospital stays. They found that a general atmosphere of humor, leading to more laughter resulted in better overall patient care and outcomes. Laughter has also been found to be helpful for cancer patients in dealing wiht pain and the effects of treatment on the body. 
 
      Studies also found that laughter or an atmosphere where humor and laughter are encouraged can improve learning and retention of learned material. There are many other benefits to laughter. It burns calories and is thought to make people appear more attractive.  Generally speaking, laughter is very socially appealing and tends to attract others to us. It promotes both connection and an atmosphere of conciliation and collaboration. Laughter also promotes bonding and favorable impressions between people.  It can diminish the effects on anger and tension.  As they say, things are just better when you’re laughing!
   
​     We listen to comedians, watch funny movies and sometimes funny reality shows or even YouTube and other social media platforms to get our daily dose of laughter. Laughter has become a "therapy” of sorts and we have “laughter yoga” and “laughter meditation” these days. Dr. Madan Kataria, a family physician in Mumbai, India, wrote an article called “Laughter– the best medicine” in 1995.  After writing his article he ended up starting the first “laughter yoga” practice in a field near his offices. From there, with 5 people in a field, it has grown to a regular practice in more than 50 countries around the world.  Laughter Therapy is the use of laughter or humor to relieve stress and promote a healthier immune system.  This is done in many ways and there are now also Laughter Clubs to promote well-being.
 
    Laughter has been found to be generally helpful in almost every situation. It will speed up the bonding process, lead to longer happier relationships and longer happier lives, it can help you burn calories to lose weight, make you feel more attractive or cause you to be attracted to someone or to certain groups of  people.  Most women list a sense of humor as one of qualities they are attracted to and people of both sexes say that they choose their significant other because they made them laugh. 
 
    Laughing will make you happier and being happy will lead to laughing more and the more you laugh the more the people around you and those you come into contact with will laugh and the happier they will be.  The happier the people around you are, the more you will enjoy being around them and the happier and more comfortable everyone will be.  So, laugh for no reason at all and as often as possible.   Laugh out loud and never miss the opportunity to laugh, because it’s definitely good for your health!
​ 

​
​Laughter is the Best Medicine: The Health Benefits of Humor and ...
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm
 
Humor, Laughter, and Those Aha Moments - Harvard Medical School
https://hms.harvard.edu/sites/default/files/HMS_OTB_Spring10_Vol16_No2.pdf

Psychological, immunological and physiological effects of a Laughing 
 ...https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S096522991300157X

Humor and Laughter May Influence Health IV. Humor and Immune Function
Mary Payne Bennett1 and Cecile Lengacher2
Author information ► Article notes ► Copyright and License information ►

How to Do Laughter Yoga: 12 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow
https://www.wikihow.com/Do-Laughter-Yoga

Edward Frey III is a performance-driven breakthrough coach. He refers to himself as, "The Ignition Coach". Edward is a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistics Programming, (NLP is the study of the cognitive neuroscience of language), Clinical Hypnotherapist, Dream Sculptor, Ayurvedic Wellness Coach and Advanced Reiki Master in Sedona, AZ. Edward's passion for training and development, coupled with his highly effective communication skills, gives clients the knowledge and valuable resources to facilitate their success. His focus is to give others the resources to avoid or overcome depression and promote suicide awareness. It is crucial for him to give clients the tools to succeed, while making it entertaining and promoting ideas that will become the seeds of growth in their minds. He seeks to spread his message in corporate settings, associations, non-profits, colleges and high schools, as well as, his private practice. Edward is the owner of Ignite Your legacy, LLC.
www.IgniteYourLegacyNow.com  

   Have you ever thought about how powerful your mind is? Let’s take a moment and think about its abilities to flow effortlessly on a daily basis. Like driving your car hundreds of miles across a continent or navigating in a complex city with rules and regulations we are vaguely familiar with… Or, ordering a meal while on a cell phone (hands free, of course) driving and figuring out what song to listen to? Not to mention using the gas pedal, steering wheel and having situational awareness at any given time. 
 According to the renowned NLP/ Hypnotherapists Michael Bennett and Sandra Vesterstein of Bennett Stellar University our brain processes a maximum of 400 billion bits of information per second and we are only able to focus on 2000 bits of information per second. That is like going to the beach and picking up 4 cups of sand into our hands, pulling out 20 grains and that's how much information we can gather per second.
 Twenty grains of sand, in relation to the information we can process, is a little disconcerting. That means that what we focus on is more important than we actually realize. When we take into consideration that our sense of smell, touch, site, hearing, taste and feeling are barely anything in comparison to the overall algorithm of information and everything else we absorb at any given moment.  This is a minimal amount compared to reading other people’s body language (how others see our body moving) which is 55%, tone of voice (how we use inflections or tone drops) at 38% and vocabulary (what specific verbiage we say) that is only 7%.  We can add it all together and recognize we absorb more than we realize. Our Judgment vs. discernment is an integral part of our stress reduction or stress induction. Using harsh judgement toward a moment of vulnerability can easily cause us to experience trauma that is deeply ingrained into the unconscious mind causing PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) amongst many other issues. 
  Are unclear moments or comments hypnotizing us to react rather than respond?! I’d say “yes”, hearing someone say, “you are a dummy” - a child takes it literally. It gives us a poor perspective or undesirable state of consciousness about ourselves. It could result in a month to 60+ years of making us feel inadequate about our abilities to perform anything from spelling of words, speaking to groups or questioning ourselves about helping others heal.  When we know we are more than fully adequate, it takes a strong person to rip off the unneeded duct tape to heal especially when most of us have been taught that duct tape can fix almost anything. Would you like to hear more about how to navigate life without having to deal with repercussions? 
If so, you are in luck. 
  I am a certified Neurolinguistics Hypnotherapist and I call myself, “The Ignition Coach”.  I like to light fires under people’s butts.  Are you the perfect candidate? If you would not like to move forward in your life stop reading now. I stress the importance of this… 
  Since you are in, let’s think about the power of our reticular activating system, which is the activator of the law of attraction. This happens regardless of whether our focus is negative or positive. If we can take in 2,000 bps, why not make it for the better. If we get our head out of our butt, we can see the light that is shining upon us. Abundant opportunities verses limiting our options. It only takes one tea light candle to shed light in a pitch-black room, no matter what size the room and if we can drive a car at night with only headlights in the dark and we still see the way and navigate. Why not be the light? 
  Our Power + Attitude = Performance. How much power you put into your focus along with Attitude (Meaning direction in a pilot’s vocabulary) produces the Performance which we apply for ourselves and our life.  Just by using this equation I am giving you a gift that has changed my life. 
  Our mind has the capability to have our software updated by making new synaptic connections and new memories. If you had the opportunity to improve your life, would you? If so, ask yourself what one of your ultimate goals is and focus on that one goal. You have the ability to take the wheel WITH your Unconscious mind. We have more abilities than we give ourselves credit for and if we hone in on our passions and desires we can create a well-formed outcome of what we want our life to be. It’s time to take the duct tape off of your mouth and be heard. And while you are at it taste the sweet nectar of life because you have the choice of enjoying opportunities. Your decisions ripple out to create your Legacy. 

About the Author: Kate Olson, CPC, CHt, is a Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EFT & NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer and Reiki Master with a practicing in Seattle, Northern Lights Life Coaching & Embrace Change Hypnosis & NLP. She offers workshops & classes, as well as, individual and group coaching. Her emphasis is on assisting clients in finding Path, Purpose and Peace. Kate focuses on integration of mind, body, spirit wellness. It is her mission to help clients find joy through connection, creative expression and change facilitation. She is passionate about creativity, travel, personal growth and enjoying life. She has another  wellness-related business offering Salt Therapy, Salt Works Saltariums. Salt Therapy offers an all natural treatment solution for respiratory and skin problems.​ All three businesses operate as Dba's under Total Well Resources, LLC.  She is also a radio show host on www.ctrnetwork.com/embracechange, hosting "Embrace change with Kate & Michelle". She is a speaker, writer and event facilitator. 

​EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or Tapping, as it is frequently called, is both a therapy modality and a self-help technique which uses light pressure in the form of gentle tapping on the acupressure meridians while focusing attention to neutralize negatives. It was started by Gary Craig in 1992, based on research from Dr. Ronald Callahan and his TFT and other work in the field of Energy Psychology. Gary Craig thought that all of the physical and emotional problems or illness people experience were created by blockages in the energy flow through our bodies. This is similar to ideas behind Traditional Chinese Medicine. He related this as very similar to the way electricity flows through a circuit. If there is a blockage or disruption the electrical circuitry does not work and will short out. EFT is a system and methodology for dealing with this and is used to neutralize negatives. 

  ​  EFT can be approached from the emotional side, physical side or doing something called, "Tap and Talk", where the client simply taps while talking and relating a story or experience. By emotional side, I mean that you could, for example, work on feeling anxious. By physical side, it means you could work on physical pain or discomfort that you are feeling, such as tension or pain in your shoulders (resulting from anxiety). I like to work from the physical side when possible, because it is usually specific and easy to pinpoint. This is called "Chasing the Pain". How it works is -- you tap on the pain and it will eventually lessen and subside. There is a distraction element to this. It has been found that it will usually move to a different location and you then continue to tap on each location, usually moving downward. The theory is that eventually the pain will move down to the feet and flow out of the body. They have found, amazingly, - that when the pain flows out of the body, the emotional issue associated with it is also gone. And, in reverse, when you work from the emotional side, the physical pain or discomfort will also be gone. The "Talk and Tap" works similarly, but tends to be less specific and therefore can take longer, but can be very cathartic for the client. 
  So, what exactly is the process? You start by setting up the tapping session. You tap 4-7 times gently on what they call the "Karate Chop Point" located on the soft fleshy outer edge of the hand. At the same time, you repeat, "Even though I have pain in my shoulders and upper back (if you are doing Chasing the Pain), I deeply and completely accept myself!".  After 4-7 taps, repeating those same words, you go to the second tapping point, which is the meridian on the top of the head, then inner edge of eye brow, outer edge of eye brow, under the eye, under the nose, under the chin, under the collar bone, under the armpit (all at meridian point) (see diagram below). You keep doing this tapping and repetition until the pain or the issue subsides - checking in with where you are on an intermittent basis. 

  ​  I love EFT (Tapping) used in conjunction with other therapies, as it gives the client relief and also, a tool they can use while you are getting to the triggers and resolving issues. It can be used without the client ever talking about their story or initial traumas and can be used with very private issues without the therapist ever even knowing the details. Re-traumatization, which can be a factor in PTSD, can also be avoided. 
  ​ There are other and more advanced techniques in EFT, such as, 9-gamut, and matrix reimprinting, but here I just wanted to give you a basic overview and understanding of how and why EFT works and has become a standard modality for working with clients on a variety of issues. It can seem a little weird at first, but has a high success rate and since it can also be done at home by the client, as a self-help tool, it has gained great popularity. 

​ There are many online resources and videos on EFT (tapping) that you can watch and get a good idea of how it is done. Anyone can do tapping and you might want to give it a try by linking to one of those resources, 
https://www.emofree.com/ 
http://www.eftuniverse.com/free-videos-2 ,  
http://www.‎Thetappingsolution.com/ .
 A trained EFT practitioner can be helpful in guiding clients through issues and resolving specific problems quickly and permanently. I find it has become a regular part of my work with clients and an addition to coaching, hypnotherapy, NLP and sometimes, Reiki. Have a bright and beautiful day and tap into the positive side of life! 

​Emily Lewis, MA holds a Masters degree in Integrative Health with a focus in sound therapies and wellness coaching from the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco. As a holistic organizer and creativity coach, she sees the connection that our outer environment plays in our day to day energy levels and our capacity for creative expression. Her passion is to help others live more empowered and creatively expressed lives through achieving more balance in the mind, body and heart. For more information on her organizing and creativity coaching work visit: www.emilymaylewis.com . Emily is a singer/songwriter and just released her first album with Sweet Medicine. Listen and download here: sweetmedicine.bandcamp.com. 

​ It is not sufficient to treat disease by addressing only the physical symptoms that display in the body. In order to achieve greater balance and well-being it is essential to look deeper into the root of what ails us and to see where there is stagnation (mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually). I believe that an important piece of the wellness puzzle lies in our creativity and our ability to express ourselves fully. This article approaches the wellness conversation from an intersection of creative expression and maintaining a balanced energy system in the body. It is possible that putting more attention on these aspects of our lives can create an optimal foundation for a healthier and happier life.
 
 In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), balanced energy (Qi) is thought to be a critical component  maintaining health and wellness. According to TCM, Qi stagnation is one of the main correlates of disease and illness. In another field of study, Thomas Hübl, a modern day integral mystic, discusses the concept of completing the “loop of full expression” and how this helps clear the energy system of stagnant energy. Hübl says that we all have certain impulses and a unique inner expression that longs to be fully expressed in order to complete our soul’s mission in this lifetime. Hübl quotes Lao Tzu’s words from the Tao Te Ching on this matter, saying “express yourself completely then keep quiet”. Both of these center around the movement of energy; as an antidote to stagnation.
 
 So, how is creative expression interconnected with health & happiness and how can we bring creative expression more fully into our daily lives? First off, I would like to share with you my definition of creativity as I think there is a lot of misconception about what creativity is and isn’t. Creativity is making something from (seemingly) nothing at all. It is the art of opening, allowing, deep listening and allowing energy to flow freely in and around out of the body. Creativity is energy, vitality, life force. Creativity is expansion and contraction. Creativity is anything that stems from inspiration, longing, imagination, and spontaneity. It is a cathartic dynamic process.  

​Creativity means many different things to many different people. I want to dispel the myth that only some people are lucky enough to be creative. Creativity is a natural impulse and innate part of being human. Creativity is not limited to the select lucky few who have been blessed with the genetic make-up like Mozart or other successful and acclaimed artists. Why do I think all adults possess some sort of creativity? Because every child I have ever come in contact with has had a spark of creativity. I have worked with hundreds of children over the years and the one thing they all have in common is that they ALL possess an imagination and inclinations of this spark of creativity. This imagination lends to exploring creative impulses and various ways of creative expression, be it playing make-believe, dressing up, making up stories, singing silly songs, playing sports, etc. As children grow into adults this spark and creativity can become covered over, dismissed and shunned. But I believe it is an essential part to reclaim and own as adults.
 
So what are some of the ways that we can move energy, express ourselves fully and bring more creativity into our daily lives as adults? How can we nurture the spark that we once had as a young child so that can bring more vitality and happiness into our lives?
 
Here are a few easy ways to start:

1. Acknowledge that you ARE a creative being and that there are many ways to express creativity
2. Explore the activities that put you into a “flow state” (sense of losing yourself in an activity or give you a sense of timelessness)
3. Give yourself permission to be expressive and creative
4. Track your energy levels before and after you do something fun, playful or creative and consider that this may be correlated to your overall sense of well-being

 
Three Powerful First steps towards a more creatively charged life
Some key aspects that I cover in my http://www.emilymaylewis.com/creativitycoaching/ work with my clients:
 
1.   Cultivate a deep listening practice
2.   Create your creative life vision statement
3.   Cultivate a creative growth mindset (approach your day to day challenges from a place of curiosity and possibility, rather than pessimism and frustration)

About the Author: Michelle Peterson contacted me to post an article for National Recovery Month and, of course, it is a worthy celebration to honor. 
She declined to post her own photo and wanted to say very little about herself. Below is her only comment: 
"Michelle Peterson believes the journey to sobriety should not be one of shame but of pride. Her mission is aligned with that of RecoveryPride, which is to celebrate sobriety and those who achieve it."
In reading her article you will see she is passionate about her cause. 

​Photo via Pixabay by BDCBethebest

  Substance abuse causes many changes in relationships, and it can be difficult to repair things with a loved one after so much has happened. It may seem insurmountable, that you’ve both been through a terrible time and there’s no coming back from it. And while you may find yourself to be changed after heading down a sober path, it’s hard to convince the people who knew you before that things will be different.
Drugs and alcohol can lead us down dark paths, into infidelity, lies, manipulation, and even crime. It can put a heavy burden on family members and other loved ones who only want to help, and even when recovery begins, those loved ones may still suffer because there are so many hurtful moments from the past that they can’t get over. With a romantic relationship, there may be a lot to unpack, but it’s important to take responsibility for your own actions and face up to the consequences rather than laying blame somewhere else. This is the first step to reconciling, especially if there was infidelity involved; according to Swiftriver.com, infidelity is traumatizing. It causes the wronged party to question you, your relationship, and themselves.

  Fortunately, there are some other ways you can rebuild your relationship and try to make it stronger than before. It begins with trust, which will take time.

Keep your expectations realistic

  You may be tempted to try and start over right away, just weeks or even days into a recovery program. It’s imperative that you understand how much time it takes to rebuild trust and to resolve past issues, which must be done. You can’t gloss over everything that happened and expect everything to be okay; allow your loved one to talk about their feelings and to vent about the situation. Try to be patient and understanding, and look at things from their point of view if possible.

Seek counseling
​
  If you’re already in a recovery program and are seeing a therapist or counselor for that, you may be wary of seeking help from someone for your relationship. However, attending therapy together can help you and your partner learn better ways to communicate, which is key when you’re rebuilding things.
 
Make some changes
 
  Don’t expect your partner to be the one who does all the hard work; you’ll need to make some changes if you want to see things move in the right direction with your loved one. This might mean getting healthier--eating a well-balanced diet, exercising daily, making better choices altogether--or it might mean removing certain people from your life. It can be hard to walk toward a new chapter and leave some things behind, but if you’re ready to put the work into your relationship, it’s important to have a fresh start with no temptations.
 
Make your connection stronger
 
  Once you’ve started the rebuilding process, it’s important to make your connection stronger than ever. Communication is one part of that, but it also means spending quality time together, learning how to be the best “other half” you can be, and supporting your partner’s goals while they support yours. You can find some great insight into how to go about doing just that in this helpful article.
 
  Keeping your expectations reasonable is half the battle. You may think you’re fully prepared to make a lot of positive changes in your life after recovery begins, but you need to be patient with yourself and give your body and mind time to heal and process what you’ve been through. Then, you can begin to pick up the pieces and make them whole again.  ​

 Sitting Can Make You Sick. Did you know the average adult sits 8-10 hours every day? If you consider the amount of time spent sitting at an average job, in the car, at the dinner table, and perhaps watching TV, it adds up quickly. But there’s a problem. Sitting for long hours may be hazardous to your health!
​
 If your day requires sitting for long periods of time, try to get up and move around for 5 minutes every hour. See if you can occasionally work while standing up and moving around your area. Even if you cannot change the amount of time you spend sitting, proper posture and some ergonomic adjustments to the areas where you sit can reduce your risk of serious health problems. Plus, you will be much more comfortable.

Ergonomics 101
 Today we will look at ergonomics for the lower body. Ergonomics is a scientific word for arranging your area to help you have the best comfort and posture for your health. Making ergonomic changes to the way your lower body is positioned while you sit can prevent back problems, leg pain and fatigue.Be sure to check back for our next article about ergonomics for the upper body.

Position of your Back
 Problem: Constant leaning, reaching, and poor posture while sitting can alter the natural curves of your spine and cause damage to your discs and nerves.

 Try This: Find a good chair with lower back support, or add a back-rest cushion to the chair. Try to keep all important equipment and documents within arm’s reach.

Position of your Legs
 Problem: When your legs don’t reach the floor properly, it can put stress on your lower back and the nerves that go down your legs.

 Try This: When sitting, your thighs should be parallel to the floor and your legs should be slightly bent with both feet squarely on the floor. When using an adjustable chair, first stand next to it and change the height of the sitting surface so it’s just below your kneecaps. If your feet do not reach the ground and your chair does not adjust, try putting a low stool under your feet. Avoid crossing your legs. When driving, remember to position your seat so your legs are slightly bent when your foot is on the pedals.
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 Chiropractic Coaching and Care for Sitting Stress. Our team at Amazing Life Chiropractic is specially trained to aid in prevention of spinal, muscular or neurological problems related to extended sitting. We can also coach you through stretches and ergonomic adjustments you can use at home or at work to improve health and reduce the stress caused by sitting all day. We look forward to helping you have happier sitting and a healthier life! 
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